In my brief time so far here in Chicago, I've noticed something about compliments. As performers we all love getting compliments, and it's fun to give them as well. Things like "Awesome playing, Man!" or "Killer solo, Dude!" are always great to receive. And honestly as performers, I think we need to hear this kind of stuff to keep us going. It's not that we all have huge egos and have to be reminded of how we're God's gift to human kind. However, if music really is a type of language or communication, we need to know if we're actually reaching people. It's not just about us; it's a connection between musician and audience.
But of course, we all basically know this. So going further, I've learned more recently that the more specific a compliment is, the more meaningful it tends to be. It's true. Anybody can say "Great job!" after anybody's performance, and usually almost everybody does, good or bad. And yeah, sometimes even if I know I didn't do that great, it does actually help hearing someone give generic compliments like this.
But if someone points out something specific that they liked about my playing, that means they were really listening, and that they're really being honest. "I loved the way you gradually built up the intensity of your solo" or "I really liked your unique rhythmic ideas." It also helps us to hone our craft. Who doesn't want to know what parts of their art are actually connecting with others? This is valuable information for us to be better communicators.
And even if it's an extremely tiny little thing like, "You're low notes sound nice," or even if you don't have the "correct" musical vocabulary like, "Whatever that thing was that you played after the really loud thingy; that was cool." These are all very meaningful things to us as musicians.
And finally, another great thing about specific compliments is that you can even give them to generally bad performances and still be completely honest, and still be encouraging. "I liked your stage presence" (while leaving out the part of NOT liking their music) or "I really like the sound of your snare drum" (while leaving out the fact that their timing was all out of whack).
Thanks for listening to my two cents on compliments. I sat in at the Wonderbar again last night, and while I didn't feel like it was my best playing, I actually did get some really nice specific compliments on my playing. And those few words alone have been the reason I feel so good right now today.
So the next time you have a chance to compliment somebody, take an extra 5 seconds before saying anything, and find something specific to mention. It makes a difference. I know.
But of course, we all basically know this. So going further, I've learned more recently that the more specific a compliment is, the more meaningful it tends to be. It's true. Anybody can say "Great job!" after anybody's performance, and usually almost everybody does, good or bad. And yeah, sometimes even if I know I didn't do that great, it does actually help hearing someone give generic compliments like this.
But if someone points out something specific that they liked about my playing, that means they were really listening, and that they're really being honest. "I loved the way you gradually built up the intensity of your solo" or "I really liked your unique rhythmic ideas." It also helps us to hone our craft. Who doesn't want to know what parts of their art are actually connecting with others? This is valuable information for us to be better communicators.
And even if it's an extremely tiny little thing like, "You're low notes sound nice," or even if you don't have the "correct" musical vocabulary like, "Whatever that thing was that you played after the really loud thingy; that was cool." These are all very meaningful things to us as musicians.
And finally, another great thing about specific compliments is that you can even give them to generally bad performances and still be completely honest, and still be encouraging. "I liked your stage presence" (while leaving out the part of NOT liking their music) or "I really like the sound of your snare drum" (while leaving out the fact that their timing was all out of whack).
Thanks for listening to my two cents on compliments. I sat in at the Wonderbar again last night, and while I didn't feel like it was my best playing, I actually did get some really nice specific compliments on my playing. And those few words alone have been the reason I feel so good right now today.
So the next time you have a chance to compliment somebody, take an extra 5 seconds before saying anything, and find something specific to mention. It makes a difference. I know.